Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Credo Buffa » Sun Feb 21, 2010 5:09 pm

I realize I'm probably jumping in where it's not my place, but as a long-time member of this forum, I'll just throw in my two cents.

Internet forums are notorious for causing personal disputes for the rather ironic reason that there is an obvious lack of "personal" communication. Sarcasm and humor are difficult to read when all you have is text in front of you, and each person's interpretation is going to be vastly different. Until you get to know the people with whom you are having these discussions--for example, Saturn, malia, dks, and I have been here for years and understand each other's brand of communication quite well, if I may be so bold as to say so--it's best to assume the better of the people around you. I've always found that arguments and pinched nerves occur when the opposite happens: someone assumes insult in a comment when it wasn't necessarily intended, and then all hell breaks lose.

Obviously I'm not Saturn and am not privy to his reasons for locking threads, but my guess is that he is doing so as a preventative measure when he senses that a discussion is getting out-of-hand and escalating toward chaos. I'm not sure if it was you, [banned member], but I did notice a recent citation toward a previous board member with whom heated discussion became a serious issue, so such instances are not entirely foreign to us here. Things can get nasty quickly, so usually it's just better to drop a subject before it does. It's so tempting not to let the "opposing opinion" get the last word, but most of the time it's better to just let it go or risk irreparable rifts in the community. . . or worse, people choosing to leave it altogether.

Generally speaking, this board is the most genial, intelligent, and well-spoken online community I've ever been a part of. It's always tough getting into such a small, tight-knit online group that already has such an establish history, language, and rapport. We do our best to be open as possible, but we're all human and sometimes don't always follow our own typical rules of restraint. The way we choose to communicate with each other when it is impossible to hear tone of voice or read facial expression is touchy and takes time to learn. Considering how your words are interpreted by others is paramount. Disagreement does not usually anything personal toward the person presenting the opposite view, but it IS all too easy to make it appear that way by using strong language or presenting your side of a debate as an attack. Lately, it seems that this is happening more and more--likely due to the simple fact that there are so many new members and we're not all quite comfortable with one another yet.

We have quite an intimate environment of very impassioned members. I have to imagine that if we all sat down to dinner together, we'd have some pretty vibrant debates and all leave exhilarated! Unfortunately (and fortunately, simultaneously), we're writing from all corners of the globe and must content ourselves with our own abilities to express ourselves and interpret others' expressions through the written word alone. I think if we all continue to keep that in mind, and remember when it's time to check our own tempers, we can all move forward in a much more mutually educated and civil manner and make this a genuinely pleasant environment for all members. :)

Again, obviously I'm not Saturn, but I hope that eases your mind a bit on some of these issues, [banned member].
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby BrokenLyre » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:30 am

I think Credo Buffa is simply talking about being gracious on the Forum, [banned member]. Even during disagreements on issues, which can be healthy and enlightening, people can write graciously. Credo Buffa is not being condescending at all. I have never seen her write that way. I would hope all of us would think the best of someone's posts.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:27 pm

A think a glass of Claret (or two...) would be much welcome now folks eh? :D
Though not for me, my stomach is queasy today- I have been far too anxious lately- I am going to read Ode to Melancholy later.
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Credo Buffa » Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:29 pm

Thank you, [banned member]. No worries. It's easy to let your passions rise in a place amongst so many other equally passionate individuals! And I apologize for jumping in on a topic that probably wasn't my place.

A glass of claret sounds brilliant! I for one could certainly use it this week. :)
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Thu Feb 25, 2010 2:46 pm

Credo Buffa wrote:A glass of claret sounds brilliant! I for one could certainly use it this week. :)


I could use a bucketful.
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Saturn » Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:25 pm

To [banned member], whatever offence I've caused him I know not, nor what he has against me, the last time I posted here I was having a very bad day and may have taken out certain frustrations on people not responsible.

In my defence all I can say is that I let my feelings get the better of me, and in low periods I can be very confused and angry.

While it doesn't excuse whatever I said I hope we can put it behind us and move on.

I've been away for a week and honestly have little memory of what the argument was about.

I have no wish to harbour any grudges or resentments, or to be the subject of them.

Perhaps I should stick to moderating the forum, and keep my opinions to myself, and not post anymore; I'm not sure how I make amends.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:31 pm

To [banned member], whatever offence I've caused him I know not, nor what he has against me, the last time I posted here I was having a very bad day and may have taken out certain frustrations on people not responsible.In my defence all I can say is that I let my feelings get the better of me, and in low periods I can be very confused and angry.
While it doesn't excuse whatever I said I hope we can put it behind us and move on. I've been away for a week and honestly have little memory of what the argument was about. I have no wish to harbour any grudges or resentments, or to be the subject of them.



This is all very upsetting- we are all here because we like/love JK- and he was always very sad when his friends had disagreements- I think he'd be sad this has happened here too. I am not taking any sides by the way ( I am neutral on this) I'm sorry you get low periods Saturn. Myself, I'm a little melancholy at the moment due to over 2 years' of unemployment and having very sore eczema on my hands ( the palms) as a result of this upset. I can certainly sympathise with sadness and hope you are feeling allright now. When I read JK'S letters and he expresses his doubts, worries, fears, money problems I don't feel so alone in these. I feel empathy for him. Some things haven't changed in the last 190 odd years!


For me this forum has been a substitute for the kind of discussions/groups I had at university. I would love for there to be a literature circle/society (a JK one especially) or nearby, like what the Tolkein people do- they have a society which meets in people's houses once a month and they have food, recitals, chats etc. Or even a pen pal- I bought lovely writing paper which will never be used. I feel quite sad.

Perhaps I should stick to moderating the forum, and keep my opinions to myself, and not post anymore; I'm not sure how I make amends.


I hope both of you will continue to post and share ideas, thoughts and observations etc etc. If it makes it any better for me to go I shall. I hope I haven't made anything worse.
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Credo Buffa » Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:06 pm

Raphael wrote:
Perhaps I should stick to moderating the forum, and keep my opinions to myself, and not post anymore; I'm not sure how I make amends.


I hope both of you will continue to post and share ideas, thoughts and observations etc etc. If it makes it any better for me to go I shall. I hope I haven't made anything worse.

I hope EVERYONE stays and continues to post. We've had a lot of dry spells here on the forums over the years, and this is as much activity as we've had in ages! Life is about taking the bad with the good, and learning to interact with the new personalities we encounter of course leads to bumps in he road now and again. But I think everyone can take what has been said on this thread to heart and move forward on a more positive note.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Tue Mar 02, 2010 3:54 pm

:(
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby marwood » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:26 am

Come on folks! Lets have some :) :)
And a glass of vino!
Best wishes, take care.
Chin chin!
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That I might drink, and leave the world unseen.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:30 pm

I am going to indulge in coffee, dark chocolate and Junkets tonight..all at ONCE!
Even vegans have their vices. :wink:
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Malia » Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:14 pm

Dark chocolate is a virtue, not a vice, Raphael. At least this choco-holic thinks so! ;)
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Credo Buffa » Thu Mar 04, 2010 6:08 pm

Malia wrote:Dark chocolate is a virtue, not a vice, Raphael. At least this choco-holic thinks so! ;)

Indeed. Lots of antioxidants. ;)
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Re: Saturn: "Just another young man with strong opinions"?

Postby Raphael » Fri Mar 05, 2010 3:21 pm

Malia wrote:Dark chocolate is a virtue, not a vice, Raphael. At least this choco-holic thinks so! ;)


Sssh.. it is- it is from Sainsbury's and not a fair trade/organic one. I didn't actually eat it- I'm saving it for the weekend ... :wink:
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

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