Ode to a Bird in Winter

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Ode to a Bird in Winter

Postby MuseAloft » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:10 am

Poor creature! Aye, poor creature of gentle
Melodies in sultry glades, admirer of flowers
Brushing the sapphire sky with reverential
Serenity, creature of fleeting rain showers
Cut short by the summer’s warm breeziness
What misery, what wretchedness you art
Now heir to! See you now with beak pressed
Against your affrighted, restless heart!
Wailing winds claw at your feathers,
And dreary skies do dominate your ken
Huddled lonesome in such frost-torn weather,
You may wonder grimly about your fate when
Summer’s warm pleasantries subside
And even autumn’s crisp courtesy abates
And spring’s sweet emerald glory hides -
Indeed, then, you might wonder for your fate!
Yet every frost is escort to a ray of sunshine
And every day of bitter, icy weather kin to
Summer’s placid warmth; then fear not for thine
Fate, for if you wait for one moonless night to
Fade, you shall witness a more golden
Sunrise then ever your eyes have before beholden.
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Re: Ode to a Bird in Winter

Postby Saturn » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:39 am

Impressive work; reads like early Endymion period Keats, which I'm sure is the style you're aiming at, but you have a skill, a real talent MuseAloft, now you need to try [and in the art of writing it is the hardest thing to do] finding your own voice, your own muse.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Re: Ode to a Bird in Winter

Postby Raphael » Sun Dec 19, 2010 12:19 am

I like it very much MuseAloft- it has an 1800's feel. And it is a subject after my own heart as I feel so sorry for the poor little birds in this snowy freezing weather- in fact I had a Blackbird sitting on my sill looking through my window today. He couldn't sit on the seed ball I had hanging up (as he is too big to perch on it ) and he was very hungry- so I went out and moved the ball lower so he can sit on the sill to reach it and put more bread out.
Please spare some bread for the starving birds folks!
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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Re: Ode to a Bird in Winter

Postby MuseAloft » Sun Dec 19, 2010 4:37 am

Thank you for the kind comments. I appreciate the advice, and I will try to expand my creative influence as you suggest, Saturn. I do tend to aim for an 1800's feel; I just like the language and the imagery. Hopefully springtime will come quickly for the sake of the poor winter birds!
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Re: Ode to a Bird in Winter

Postby Raphael » Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:45 pm

MuseAloft wrote:Thank you for the kind comments. I appreciate the advice, and I will try to expand my creative influence as you suggest, Saturn. I do tend to aim for an 1800's feel; I just like the language and the imagery. Hopefully springtime will come quickly for the sake of the poor winter birds!


Keep with the 1800's feel- it is atmospheric and has a charm to it. I prefer this style to the way poetry has gone these days.
Yes, poor birds- I have just given them more bread. The Blackbird was pecking mournfully in the snow looking at me again.
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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