Page 1 of 2

Ode to a Nighttime Breeze

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 1:01 am
by acrosstheuniverse64
I hear her come on angels’ wings,
A chariot of brush and leaves.
I love the moonlit song she sings
Across the weathered eaves.
As soft as cotton, smooth as breath
She sweeps over the earth and sea.
Each being stops to listen to
Her tales of love, and life and death,
Absorbing sheer serenity
Beneath a moon of blue.

Under the twinkling stars I lay,
While for your sound, my ears do strain.
Please, with me will you come and stay
And whisper at my window pane?
Hush now, she comes! I mustn’t tarry.
My heart is bursting at the seams,
To her, are all my thoughts unfurled.
Inside her swirling robes, she’ll carry
My whispered words of hopes and dreams,
And those of all the world.


Oh dear this was a really cool poem at the time I wrote it because I was actually sitting on my roof at night writing it, but how cheesy in retrospect! Ah, well...

And I was just wondering- does an ode always have to follow the ABABCDECDE rhyme scheme? Because I had wanted to write so much more but could not seem to ever be able to get anything to fit the CDECDE part.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:37 am
by Saturn
That is wonderful I love it - a good old traditional bit of poetry.

Very reminiscent of Shelley I think.

:D

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:08 pm
by dks
Yes...I love your rich, dark night images...

I hear her come on angels’ wings,
A chariot of brush and leaves.
I love the moonlit song she sings
Across the weathered eaves.
As soft as cotton, smooth as breath
She sweeps over the earth and sea.
Each being stops to listen to
Her tales of love, and life and death,
Absorbing sheer serenity
Beneath a moon of blue.


...very nice, indeed...

Re: Ode to a Nighttime Breeze

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:49 pm
by Kaki
acrosstheuniverse64 wrote:And I was just wondering- does an ode always have to follow the ABABCDECDE rhyme scheme? Because I had wanted to write so much more but could not seem to ever be able to get anything to fit the CDECDE part.


No you can mix the bottom up some if you'd like for example Keats often wrote pindaric odes generally with a strophe (introduction), an antistrophe (the meat of the ode), and an epode (obviously the end). For example the rhyme scheme for "Ode to a Grechian Urn" is ababcdedce, ababcdeced already in the first two stanzas the last bit changes, this change is usually used for the transition between the three parts of the ode (strophe, antistrophe and the epode), but honestly you can use it for emphasis or just to change it up a bit to make something more intresting, or whatever.

oh the whole rhyme scheme for "Ode to a Grecian Urn" (so you don't have to look it up) is:
ababcdedce, ababcdeced, ababcdecde, ababcdecde, ababcdedce

PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:53 pm
by Saturn
:shock:

I'm glad someone knows what they're talking about here - I'm shamefully defeated by the mechanics of poetry and wholly ignorant of rhyme schemes etc. :oops:

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:12 am
by Kaki
Don't be I just learned about this a few weeks ago. If anything I'm just glad I listen in English class so that I can share with everyone. Besides you were the one who answered my question about the use of roman gods over greek gods in "To Homer". I still feel rather dumb to have not thought about education at the time.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:41 am
by Richard
Yes
I think Keats developed from naff rhyming couplets to the most beautifully subtle tunes ever written. In no time, just in front of your eye's.
And then it was sealed in amber.
Perfect. 8)
richard

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:05 am
by Kaki
I'd say he had an addiction to form, I mean he didn't seem to loosen up much did he?

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:33 am
by Richard
Yes. Addiction to form, I should hope so too.
He invents impossibly complex looms, in which he weaves effortlessly, he embroiders with seeming spontaneous beauty. Its not the counting of syllables or rhyme patterns, its the music they make, its perfected craft by an artistic genius. It is the pinnacle of mans achievement, and yet its just breath. 8)
Oh hi Kaki, I'm richard and I've got a heavy Keats habit :D
Anyone can write free verse, and thats great

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:05 am
by Kaki
I can tell. Very poetic. Free verse is wonderful. Personaly, I have quite a problem continuing a rhyme even if I can change the order. I apreciate the work others put into such detail, but I don't like the restrictions.

personal imagery

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:44 am
by Scrib
beautiful poem...makes me think of someone sitting on a rooftop pondering life...and they feel a breeze, showing the soft power of nature...

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:05 am
by dks
Richard wrote: It is the pinnacle of mans achievement, and yet its just breath. 8) I'm richard and I've got a heavy Keats habit :D


You're a smart man...I've got a heavy Keats habit...yes! I love that...

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:45 am
by Saturn
How much does this habit cost you? :wink:

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:03 am
by Richard
Fortunately I'm off Endymion entirely now, just a couple of small sonnets a day, I mean whats the harm in that? :wink:

Kaki, its because we don't like restrictions that he uses them. like bars around a songbirds cage, If Keats didn't have that discipline he would have just flown away.
richard

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:04 am
by Saturn
:lol:

You have a wonderful way of putting things.

That's such a great image 'a heavy Keats habit' :lol: