Dimming Into The Night

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Dimming Into The Night

Postby Fragment » Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:43 pm

Dimming Into The Night
G Collins, 2/10/2010

The stars sparkle
Out of need to remain alive
They burst and bleed their fragments into the sky
Red, yellow, orange -- orbs exploding into the night

But, where are they now -- the stars?
There's a tale spun in threads of gold
Of stars all running away with their lovers,
Yet one lied to her beloved and
Now she ponders, dimming into the night
Without him to keep her warm

Soon there will be nothing left
Against satin sheets of sky
But dust and silence
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Re: Dimming Into The Night

Postby Saturn » Wed Apr 06, 2011 7:19 pm

Love, love love this, especially the last verse. Excellent work Fragment.
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Re: Dimming Into The Night

Postby Fragment » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:46 pm

Thank you!
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Re: Dimming Into The Night

Postby Ennis » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:37 pm

Fragment wrote:Dimming Into The Night
G Collins, 2/10/2010

The stars sparkle
Out of need to remain alive
They burst and bleed their fragments into the sky
Red, yellow, orange -- orbs exploding into the night

But, where are they now -- the stars?
There's a tale spun in threads of gold
Of stars all running away with their lovers,
Yet one lied to her beloved and
Now she ponders, dimming into the night
Without him to keep her warm

Soon there will be nothing left
Against satin sheets of sky
But dust and silence


Gosh, this is good!! Great use of alliteration and the visual imagery is . . . WOW!! I love the "They burst and bleed their fragments into the sky" verse. Very well done, indeed!
"But if you will fully love me, though there may be some fire, 'twill not be more than we can bear when moistened and bedewed with Pleasures." JK to FB 08.07.1819
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Re: Dimming Into The Night

Postby Fragment » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:52 pm

Yes, I was surprised how well it turned out especially because I wrote it while I was at my old job (which was beyond boring).
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Re: Dimming Into The Night

Postby Raphael » Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:51 pm

Love the imagery!
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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