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First born son.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 1:42 am
by Saturn
Wrote this one in a bit of a mad patch. Its about a lot of very personal things, not just what it appears to be about.
It's probably the darkest, bleakest thing I've ever written and I've written some really dark things before.

There is no form, no pattern, just words and ideas and descriptions, or attempted descriptions of particular thoughts and experiences.
---------------------------------------

Miscarried.
At 15 years old,
Misconceived:
Threw it all away.

I was on the block,
Decapitated:
Bloody and sore,
A rotting stump
Dripping raw
In a basket;
Basket-case.

Victim of terror -
The terror of life.
Condemned,
Sentenced...
Guilty.

Guilty of failure,
Also of despair
Unrepentantly,
Firmly aware
Of the waste.

A mistake:
Not unexpected
Late-coming guest.
Some diners left
Before my arrival.

A haemorrhage:
An evacuation,
Unsewn wound -
A botched job
Never stitched.

Miscast:
Outcast from birth.
More alone now
Than in th' womb -
Foetal prison.

An accident:
Not one waiting;
Already happened.
After the fact
Forensics case.

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 8:26 am
by dks
I was on the block,
Decapitated:
Bloody and sore,
A rotting stump
Dripping raw
In a basket;
Basket-case.


That's completely powerful, Saturn. It's dark and real, but very well said...your imagery is alive here, paradoxically...love your work, as always, Stephen...

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 12:43 pm
by Saturn
Thank you Denise I'm flattered that you like it.

:)

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:32 pm
by edwardkeenaghan
I love it too stephen 8)

A haemorrhage:
An evacuation,
Unsewn wound -
A botched job
Never stitched.

Miscast:
Outcast from birth.
More alone now
Than in th' womb -
Foetal prison.

An accident:
Not one waiting;
Already happened.
After the fact
Forensics case.


Those last thee verses,have so much depth and the feel of the dirt of the ground,i really love it you have captured something as denise says very powerful.Bravo :D :D

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:24 pm
by Saturn
Thank you Edward.

:)

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:29 pm
by edwardkeenaghan
No problem it really is good :D