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I Smiled

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:45 pm
by dks
Finished this one today...

I Smiled

I smiled when
I saw you wave at me
From behind the peachleaf willow,
Where a butterfly weed
Was convoyed by an inspired bee.

While you waved, I walked
Across the patterned prairie,
Ruby dabbed with pear buds—
Needles like antennae,
Piercing the breeze.

Still you waved on,
Blonde sun smothering
Your coal black hair—
Effusing henna rust.
Then I fell to my knees.

You stopped waving.
The catkins and blooms moldered to dust,
While catch ropes dangled
From manifold, verdant Dule trees.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:58 pm
by Saturn
Now I have to praise your immediacy fora change Denise.

You make the everyday poetic, the trivial beautiful.

Your descriptions are always so vivid I can really picture them so clearly :D

I don't even know what Dule trees are but you make them sound wonderful.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:22 am
by Saturn
So many good lines

I love this in particular:
Where a butterfly weed
Was convoyed by an inspired bee.

that's delightful.

I've read this about five times now and keep seeing new things :shock:

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:27 am
by dks
:oops: Thanks, Stephen. As always, you are too kind.

A Dule tree is a very hard timbered tree where people were hung from...executed with a noose...it's a disturbing image, I know--but it's a metaphor--for a petrified fear of impending heartbreak.

This one came out rather quickly...some of the images almost caught me by surprise.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:30 am
by Saturn
dks wrote:
This one came out rather quickly...some of the images almost caught me by surprise.


That's how it is for me sometimes, images can just pour over you and you have to cup your hands to catch them before they wash away through your fingers.

EDIT - that sounds pretentious, but you know what I mean :oops: