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Burrow

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:48 pm
by Saturn
This is a bit of a mad Frankenstein piece [I wrote the first two verses a few days ago as part of a completely different poem].

Burrow

I run from my very self;
Hide my head. In dreams
I burrow. Deeper every day
I reach latent subconscious.

Avoid all responsibilities
Never be in their debt,
Sleep is one long vision
Of how life should be.

When will I ever wake
From this near-hibernation?
When will I scratch close
To the scrubby surface again?

I tremble: and heart-quakes
Shake the dirt from my eyes.
I cower when I think of you
In the cold winter above me.

I dare not peep my head
Out from this grubby mound.
Afraid you'll beat me down
Into this black hole again.

I wait, patiently, furled,
Try to make warmth alone,
No stitch of love to clothe me,
I shiver to the bone, I freeze.

I wait for Spring to call me
From forth my hollow den.
I see you in her own robes
Dancing, begging me to rise.

I'm not suspended, not dead,
Just always waiting the call
To wrap up tight my heart
And walk with you again.
_________

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:43 am
by dks
Hmmm...what is it about this one that seems a tad different?

I'm afraid you've only reinforced what I'd previously said about your verses, Stephen. That immediacy you spoke of--it's showcased all over this one! This poem is not only a bit different, but beautifully put together.

Let me show you why I think this is so:

You go from talking about this certain isolating hibernation in generalities in the first three stanzas--to zeroing in on the actual hibernation state itself in stanza four.

This is magnificent:

I tremble: and heart-quakes
Shake the dirt from my eyes.
I cower when I think of you
In the cold winter above me.

And this:

I wait, patiently, furled,
Try to make warmth alone,
No stitch of love to clothe me,
I shiver to the bone, I freeze.

I wait for Spring to call me
From forth my hollow den.
I see you in her own robes
Dancing, begging me to rise.

I'm not suspended, not dead,
Just always waiting the call
To wrap up tight my heart
And walk with you again.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:43 am
by Saturn
Aw stop it I'll go all red with embarrassment :oops:

Honestly this was one that just arrived somehow, I don't even know how but it was completed in about twenty minutes.

As often with me one word can trigger a whole a poem. Hibernation is an image I've used before and always come back to in different contexts.

As I said before the first two verses I wrote a couple of days ago and abandoned so they're kind of out of place there, I really should have scrapped them and begun afresh.

Anyway what I'm saying is Denise there's no great design here, whatever you want to read into it is great but, it's purely accidental on my part, I'm not that clever, honestly, but I'm pleased you see something good in it.