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Intellectual Denial

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 3:43 pm
by AsphodelElysium
And yet another. The only distinguishing characteristic of this one is that it is indeed a sonnet. I've written several sonnets but they are generally very, very, very bad. This isn't necessarily an exception, but I hope its more fair to middling than horrendously bad.

Intellectual Denial

In the simple thoughtlessness of folly-filled youth
where the air sparkles with a fresh felicity,
tenderness bloomed in the crimson fertility
of a heart fed by false hope and imagined truths.
A stony man of intellect let passion pass;
on him a quiet voice and faint words were wasted.
He hungered after mysteries yet untasted.
Faded fast the beauty of the rose colored glass;
all dreams came to naught with unrequited wisdom.
Anger-masked grief engendered by rough, cold reason
bled glory from that pale breast, fating chilled seasons.
Ice stole quickly into that soft, aching kingdom -
There is a dark sorrow now no one knows about,
a wound deep inside where all of Heaven flows out.

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:13 am
by adonais
Ooh this is nice, darkly beautiful. The last couplet is strong, but the whole thing is excellent in my opinion. I may be a little confused about the dramatis personae though; is the narrator from "Faded fast the beauty.." the man from the preceding, or another one? (you?)

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:40 am
by AsphodelElysium
Thank you, adonais! The narrator is, sadly, myself. But yes, also the one with the faded rose-colored glasses.

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 8:18 am
by adonais
Ok thanks, although now that I think about it it was rather ungentlemanly of me to query a poet the meaning of her poem. I could read it in two different ways, however, that both made sense to me, and wasn't sure which one you intended. And I'd add that there's certainly nothing sad about being the narrator and author of such fine verse! :wink:

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 10:18 am
by AsphodelElysium
If that is as "ungentlemanly" as you get, then I think I can deal with it. :wink: Seriously though, I appreciate the feedback and if something was unclear, then its my job as the author to correct it. Speaking of, I should have been more specific, the situation that gave rise to the verse is sad. Thanks again, for the feedback.

Re: Intellectual Denial

PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2007 10:06 pm
by Saturn
AsphodelElysium wrote:Ice stole quickly into that soft, aching kingdom -
There is a dark sorrow now no one knows about,
a wound deep inside where all of Heaven flows out.


I love, love, love this :D

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:38 am
by AsphodelElysium
Thank you! :D