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PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 2:17 pm
by Saturn
Aren't we all? :lol:

You have no idea how strange I am :lol:

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 3:07 pm
by AsphodelElysium
I daresay not half so much as I am. But then again, birds of a feather... :D

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:37 pm
by Saturn
I'm one hundred percent medically certified and I'm not joking about that :lol: so it doesn;t get more strange than that :wink:

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 2:15 am
by dks
AsphodelElysium wrote:Yes, and the content needs a great deal of work as well. It seems choppy and repetitive to me. My metaphors aren't tight enough and I'm explaining too much where I should be giving the reader more credit.

But then its always the way with a new poem. I agonize with it, go without sleep, on and on, until its in some semblance of poetry. I usually have a title in mind before I start but this one was different.

I was often told that poetry, well, writing in general was never finished, it was abandoned. Do you think that holds true?

Your metaphors, madam, are bastardly sturdy and strong here--tight enough to wind up a kite in mid gale. Here's what I mean:

But always threatening,
forever the breath on the nape,
an inky, black fog.
Rolling, upwards twisting,
choking the fleeting delights
so that even sorrow balks at it.
A vengeful beast panting
sticky sweet malice and
suffocating rage,
thirsty for blood and misery.
Slow, subtle poisons
more fatal than that
which killed Socrates
block the sky,
brew a storm,
raise an army,
to destroy my brief blisses.
Forced changes
turn my mind to a maelstrom,
my heart, to a weighted Sisyphean stone.
Lightning strikes.

All that trembling poetic action! Many times poems have great adjectives and descriptives, but lack a certain extraordinary impact--ever notice that when you read someone's poetry who may be sort of a dilettante, or someone just starting out with verse? I don't mean that in an elitist way, I mean that to prove a point with regard to more seasoned poetry--like that of yours and Stephen's...that action is palpable, tangible and almost knocks you aside a bit as if to say, "Feel that!" or "Sense this!" It ferries the bang or the blow alongside "images beautiful and strange..."

That, my dear AE, is poetry...

:oops: I'm a bit embarrassed, I have to say, for jumping in here--I've been reading all of your great conversations (feeling a bit pouty and aloof) while I'm so busy wrapping up the school year this week and writing my last paper for an independent study class this semester--the last one before I will officially finish my Keats thesis. I just haven't had time to post much and I miss the hell out of everyone.

I have a few poems brewing (nothing of greatness) so, hopefully, the Muse will bite my neck soon.

oh! I have something to share with everyone--will do it in another thread...

Bravo on the gorgeous poem, AE. Your style is reminiscent of Stephen's--you are both extremely brilliant poets...I am honored to be in your company!!

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:50 am
by AsphodelElysium
Thank you, Denise! Is it okay if I call you by your name? Part of me feels like I'm being too familiar. But feel free to call me Dalva. Anyway, :D , once again, you're giving me entirely too much credit. I'm the one that is honored. You all are wonderful poets and conversationalists and you've taken me in like one of your own. And for that I am deeply appreciative.

Don't be embarrassed and don't pout! Santa Claus is coming to town... :lol: I'm joking. I've been wondering where you were at. And speaking of, where's Malia been?

I look forward to your poems. They can't be anything but great; I've read your stuff. :wink: Congrats on your thesis! I know that is a lot of hard work. And good luck with the rest of the year. I'm sure you'll do fine.

Saturn wrote:I'm one hundred percent medically certified and I'm not joking about that so it doesn;t get more strange than that

I'm damn glad to hear it. I think you might be alright, Stephen. :wink: Its the ones that write those certificates that I worry about.

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 9:34 pm
by Saturn
Well they know what they're talking about - I'm mad and proud of it :lol:

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:45 am
by AsphodelElysium
You should be proud of it. I know I'm pleased, most days, with my own "insanity." I was just pointing out, you're probably not "mad" for the reasons they say you are. People aren't "crazy" because they don't conform. Forgive me, I have a deep mistrust of the medical community in general.

But, to tie it all together, you're unique and you don't need a certificate of anything to prove that. :wink:

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:48 pm
by Heaven/Hell
Saturn wrote:For your one how about uhhmmm


Yes I know its kind of a hackneyed title used many times but I love that word and it seems poetic in itself as a description of the kind of rapid and sometimes drastic changes that can happen in life, the shifts of mood, of feeling of circumstances.

Nice idea, and nice word, but I think Shelley would possibly object... ;)

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:33 pm
by AsphodelElysium
:lol: And you know how much I revere Shelley's opinions. :lol:

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:28 pm
by Saturn

I happen to think very highly of Shelley in many regards...

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:46 pm
by AsphodelElysium
I'm kind of indifferent. I don't dislike/hate him by any means. I've been re-reading some of his stuff in hopes of kindling a more solid interest.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:10 pm
by Saturn
I agree with many of his philosophical, religious and political ideals - out of all the romantics [even Coleridge admitted this] he was the greatest polymath, the greatest solid WRITER of them all - he was so prolific in his short life.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:12 pm
by Heaven/Hell
Anyone who distributes a self-written leaflet entitled The Neccessity of Atheism at his private school needs a second glance... :D Let's not forget In Defence of Poetry - if poetry was ever called to the stand, I can see it reciting this word for word.

I would have voted (as well as Shelley) Blake or Coleridge himself in the running for the greatest polymath out of all the Romantics.

I said Shelley would object to Saturn's renaming the poem 'Mutability' because of course Shelley wrote 'To Mutability', for anyone none the wiser.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:03 pm
by Saturn
Which is a very fine poem by the way... hence my tribute to it by suggesting mutability as a title for this... :wink: