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Hurt

PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 11:49 pm
by Saturn
Hurt

You hurt me in ways
You cannot conceive.
I struggle to forgive
Yet I always will do,
Even when the pain
I suffer is unbearable
Any longer and life
Is a torture of barbs,
A horrible inquisition
A wrack stretching
The limit of endurance.

If you felt the tears
And heard the sighs
I make for your sake
Surely then your heart
Would pity me at least.
I ask you for nothing
Yet everything I desire.
My heart breaks now
In silence but I scream
And tear my self inside
Begin to see an end
To everything, to hope,
Happiness, life itself
A violent bloody end
A doom I can't escape.
______________

PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:38 am
by AsphodelElysium
Again, your brutal honesty and straightforwardness shines through. I love how you're able to catch immediacy and give freshness to the subject. How could anyone be stony-hearted to such a voice :?:

PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:32 pm
by dks
Stephen. So heartbreaking--this poem.

Now, you are really in the thick of aching in this.

Here's my favorite lines:

If you felt the tears
And heard the sighs
I make for your sake
Surely then your heart
Would pity me at least.
I ask you for nothing
Yet everything I desire.

My heart breaks now
In silence but I scream
And tear my self inside
Begin to see an end
To everything, to hope,
Happiness, life itself
A violent bloody end
A doom I can't escape.


You almost sound furious in your passion--either way, the depth of feeling is more than aptly conveyed...another great wielding of tangible emotion with your words.