My Endymion

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My Endymion

Postby Matt » Fri Jul 23, 2004 5:06 pm

I have recently put together a collection of my own poetry. It consists of 15 poems some of which are indebted to Keats. (although nowhere near as good) My reasons for putting the collection together and making it available for other people to read can be found in Keats' preface to Endymion.

If any body would like a Microsoft Word copy then email me at

I'd be grateful for any criticisms that you may have.
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A TRUE poet is in our midst!!

Postby Saturn » Sat Jul 24, 2004 10:04 pm

:o I have just read your collection Matt and am greatly impressed.

You have firmly put me in my place - I bow to a vastly superior master. Henceforth I will never to presume to call myself a poet.
Don't look to see my rubbish on this site again.

I'm ashamed that you have surpassed my pathetic efforts at such a young age.
I put a collection of my own juvenile poems together at about the age of 20-21, and there isn't a single decent poem in it. It was a complete mess compared to yours.

I though all you needed to be a poet was a brain, a heart and a bit of knowledge of poetry. What I neglected to add was experience.

You obviously have lived life to the full, whereas I have lived in the past few years almost wholly in the imagintaion. The world rejected me, so I made a new world in the mind - but nothing can replicate the rough and tumble of real experiences of life.

Just a few questions about the poems:

Firstly, apart from Keats who else were you influenced by?
There are clearly some 20th century modernist influences in there.

Secondly how long have you been writing poetry?

Thirdly, how long did it take you to revise edit them from their rough state to the finished article?

Once again, congratulations on your work, there is a real talent there. You can only get better. The Muses have clearly favoured you - but remember (and I can say this with experience; they are fickle mistresses).

**I urge any of the regulars to check out the talent in our midst.**
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Matt » Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:55 pm

Wow Stephen! I cant beleive the praise you gave me! I hope that its genuine and not affected by alcohol!!!

Answers to your questions:

1) As for your questions on who I am influenced by other than Keats? The answer unfortunately is nobody! The only other poet I have studied (and that was two years ago when i detested poetry) was Carol Anne Duffy. Although i am of course forgetting the war poets. I have taken great elight and interest in both WIlfred Owen and Sassoon. I do not feel however that they have affected me majorly although I guess they may have. Sassoon particularly. His cynical outlook can be found in the poem 'Tanned legs and tiny hips'

2) I have been writing since I was about 16. Back then though it was all songs and all heavily influenced by the punk rock era (this can be seen in a song i wrote called relationsh*t...hmmmm) Anyways, i have only been writing poetry for a year.

3) As for revision it does not take long because I do not really do it. Some poems such as 'tanned legs and tiny hips' (if that is the title!) took no more than ten minutes whereas the poems which follow a fixed structure such as 'Pan:a fragment' (althought it may not show!) and the sonnet to Kelly took up to 5 hours plus.

I really thank you STephen and would be grateful for other people's comments. Once again STephen thank you! And its odd that u feel u should bow down to me where I have always thought 'I'll never be able to write verse like his'. 'his' being you of course!
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No drunken comments

Postby Saturn » Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:35 pm

I assure you, I haven't had anything to drink - for 36 hours anyway.

No really, I loved your poems. There's a real unashamed vigour and bite in them, the sense of a life being lived and enjoyed. You really put your personal life and experiences into them, that is obvious.
When I do that, the poems are just so personal that no-one else would understand the references or the feelings expressed.

Don't have so much self- doubt. I'm certainly no critic (all critics are failed artists) or a professed expert - I just know what I like and like to say so.

Keep up the good work - this first could be a "gradus ad parnassum" - a step to Parnassus. There's a bit of Latin for you!!!
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Matt » Thu Aug 05, 2004 1:23 pm

Hi, Matt here. I just wanted to include Despondence's comments on my collection of poetry ('Just a Boy'), which he emailed to me. I have checked with him before I made his comments public and I want to stress that I have not included his comments through arrogance or an enlarged ego but as I have already explained to Despondence, I beleive his comments, along with Stephen's may help raise the profile of my work and perhaps make more people interested enough to read it. Thank you and here is what he wrote:

Hey Matt,

Here are some comments on you poems - very good stuff indeed! I'll only comment upon the ones that I liked the best.

I really like "Smooth legs and tiny Hips". The subject is just brilliant, and the imagery is powerful - you can really see the trio before your minds eye.

I quite liked "No More" - boy, have I been there. Except I don't get the last line, "No more me" - what are you getting at there? I would rather have expected a "Only me" in closing, breaking the "No more"-pattern. But then, if you wrote what everyone expected it wouldn't be a very interesting read...

"Love and the Lake District" is just great, a light and lovely read, leaving you with a good feeling.

I'm a scientist, and I love simplicity. To Keats' "Beauty is truth" I assert that "Simplicity is beautiful", hence, the truth should be simple. Nothing encapsulates this better than your "No More"! This may also be why your "Pan" doesn't quite work on the same level as your other poems - that sort of undertaking requires a different talent (I don't know what that talent is, but clearly your talents are much stronger in the free verse).

As an aside, if I can't have simplicity, I'll settle for a set of rules to guide the mind - that's why I'm mostly scribbling in metered iambs with a regular rhyming scheme! It's a form of escape: by restricting yourself to a meter and a rhyming scheme, you divest yourself of the burden of freedom with every word and sentence. In other words, if you're a lousy poet (like me) the meter can be a guide to help you avoid the trapdoors of free verse. I can't write free verse, because I'm not a real poet. :(

Back to your stuff: "The Romantic" is brilliant - perhaps your best piece. Again, the subject you have found amazes me, it's just great. And I love the burlesque ending. Fabulous.

I like "September 13th", but it feels somehow unfinished? Or maybe I just don't get it... Feels like the last verse is wrapping up something that should have been expanded over one or two extra verses.

"A Dream" is also nice, dunno what to say, it just works straight out of the box.

Ok, I hope you'll keep up the good work, and set up that web site so that one can check now and then for your latest productions :)


(grateful if you kept me posted, if/when you put the stuff on your site, or announced it on the forum!)
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Postby Neelima Nair » Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:56 am

«O Sorrow,
Why dost borrow
The natural hue of health, from vermeil lips? -.....
WAtya wanna know?
Neelima Nair
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Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:42 am
Location: Uae

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