Subsidence

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

Moderators: Saturn, Malia

Subsidence

Postby Saturn » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:05 pm

Subsidence

Sick of being disposable:
The skeleton of trust leans
Precarious against flimsy
Friendship's fabricated,
Teetering foundations.

I didn't jerry-build this:
I built to last; scaffolds
To keep it all in place;
Used finest resources;
Collected with care.

Subsidence has come:
And I scramble, sore'
Bleeding, arms full,
Watching it all sink,
Helpless, and forlorn.
______________
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Re: Subsidence

Postby dks » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:59 am

Aw, I love this...the metaphor is so tightly constructed--one of my very favorite attributes of your poetry, Stephen...

The skeleton of trust leans
Precarious against flimsy
Friendship's fabricated,
Teetering foundations...


I love your very uniquely macabre, yet beautiful rendering here...this is f*ckin great...
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
User avatar
dks
Dante
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2006 6:14 am
Location: Texas

Re: Subsidence

Postby SidewalkProphet » Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:17 pm

This is a beautiful piece, full of sadness though *hugs*
Image
User avatar
SidewalkProphet
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:54 pm

Re: Subsidence

Postby titian dj » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:28 pm

Hi again, Saturn

I like your extended metaphor. A relationship poem methinks, and well worth the read.

All the best,

Bri
titian dj
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 1:01 pm

Re: Subsidence

Postby AsphodelElysium » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:49 am

Ah, also in the top 5 things I've missed about this forum. Your poetry, Saturn. This one hit close to home for me. Love the alliteration and the dark metaphor!
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Re: Subsidence

Postby AsphodelElysium » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:49 am

Ah, also in the top 5 things I've missed about this forum. Your poetry, Saturn. This one hit close to home for me. Love the alliteration and the dark metaphor!
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Re: Subsidence

Postby AsphodelElysium » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:49 am

Ah, also in the top 5 things I've missed about this forum. Your poetry, Saturn. This one hit close to home for me. Love the alliteration and the dark metaphor!
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia


Return to ‘Where’s the Poet? Show him! Show him!’

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron