War

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

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War

Postby SidewalkProphet » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:19 pm

Darkness
Light
Silence
Deafening Blasts
A tumult of sensations
Too much
Too fast
Life
Death

What am I doing?
Why am I here?

Dirt in my eyes
In my lungs
In my skin
Heat
Haze
Running
Shouting

Gunfire

Everyone down
Dust
Fear

Listen

Wait

Pounding heart
Heavy breath

Reload

Wait

Think

Survive.
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SidewalkProphet
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:54 pm

Re: War

Postby marwood » Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:36 am

I can almost taste the dust, smell the fear, hear the awful sounds of war.
Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, will we never be set free ?
Powerful poem, I liked it.
Best wishes,
Marwood.
That I might drink, and leave the world unseen.
marwood
At Parnassus' foot
 
Posts: 121
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:22 pm
Location: Birmingham England

Re: War

Postby Wynn » Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:26 pm

I liked it all except "pounding heart/heavy breath." The two lines feel over used. The rest is great!
"Never trust a poet who can't construct a stanza."
— Clive James
Wynn
 
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 1:05 am
Location: California


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