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Mean Spirited Verse

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:11 am
by dks
This poem is mean spirited--but, you know, when you feel it--it must come out...I wrote this about *ahem* someone I know.


So Smart

You’re so smart
That I’ll bet
When you put your head
To rest at night
The down and fill
In your blanched pillow
Is smashed flat—
From the crushing load
Of your hulking thoughts.

And each puckered thread
On its sham
Flinches and counts
The minutes in between
Your faint fists
Walloping—
To fluff it up again.

Re: Mean Spirited Verse

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:40 am
by Saturn
dks wrote:
So Smart

You’re so smart
That I’ll bet
When you put your head
To rest at night
The down and fill
In your blanched pillow
Is smashed flat—
From the crushing load
Of your hulking thoughts.


Excellent as usual - I love that dks.

Re: Mean Spirited Verse

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:47 pm
by dks
Saturn wrote:
Excellent as usual - I love that dks.


Thank you, Saturn. But it's not very nice... :oops:

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:57 pm
by Saturn
Obviously this person has upset you but the poem is very well written - caustic, biting, and to the point.

You are always very concise :D

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:04 pm
by dks
Saturn wrote:Obviously this person has upset you but the poem is very well written - caustic, biting, and to the point.

You are always very concise :D


Upset me...yeah. Sometimes I wonder, though, if what troubles me isn't magnified largely by my imagination... :?

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:56 pm
by Saturn
dks wrote:
Upset me...yeah. Sometimes I wonder, though, if what troubles me isn't magnified largely by my imagination... :?


Our difficluties are always magnified by our own thoughts.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:35 pm
by dks
Saturn wrote:Our difficluties are always magnified by our own thoughts.


Yes. And for those of us with highly charged (or is it dysfunctionally over active?! :lol: )imaginations...they're especially brutal.

Re: Mean Spirited Verse

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:05 pm
by Credo Buffa
dks wrote:But it's not very nice... :oops:

No one ever said that poetry had to be nice! If your "spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings" happens to be nasty, then it's only natural that the resulting poem will be as well. :wink:

Fabulous as always, dks. If you published a volume, I'd totally buy it, and then make all my friends buy it too :D

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:08 pm
by Saturn
I'd buy it too 8)

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:09 pm
by Saturn
We should start a subscription like they did for Keats and Clare and other poets of that time :D

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:18 pm
by Malia
Yes, great poetry dks. I must admit, I'm envious of your talent! :)

Then again, I'm envious of everyone's talent here on the forum :lol:

But I'm so glad you're sharing your work with us, dks. It's an honor!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:27 pm
by Saturn
Malia wrote:
But I'm so glad you're sharing your work with us, dks. It's an honor!


It is indeed :D

Denise, when your poetry is published worldwide and you're a celebrated bard we'll all be saying "Ah, we knew her when she was nothing...nothing I tell you!". :lol:

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:29 pm
by dks
:cry: :cry: :oops: :oops:

It's.

Too.

Much..

You all flatter me so... :cry: :oops:

Have I mentioned today how much I LOVE this forum and you people??? :wink:

I am honored to share my poetic endeavors with such highly intelligent and classy folks--indeed, I have never been counted among such auspicious company before...

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:45 pm
by Credo Buffa
Awww, now you flatter us :D