Hymn to Love and Nature [was Hymn to Love and Beauty]

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Hymn to Love and Nature [was Hymn to Love and Beauty]

Postby PaulW » Sat Feb 13, 2010 11:49 am

[Pulled for changes]

//////

Eariler ... original

Hymn to love and beauty

I - Love [of nature]

[I write these lines in protest
At Tracey's un-made bed,
And sheep that hang in perspex
Or something that looks like glass,
At bombs that burn our children
And thoughts that never rhyme,
At the pace of life that's killing
Beauty and a sense of place and time]

[A work in progress, with a nod [and then some] to Keats].

With eyelids closed and heavy
i rest upon the shore
and feel the pulse of nature
beating out to me,
and all the while the sea
warmly, caressingly
bathes the day in raindrops gathered in.

In cool night light and silence
i dream beside a pool
where undimmed stars may vanish
ghost-like under clouds,
it's quiet here, no crowds
just me and, sleepily,
butterflies and daisies by my side.

These are the pictures i paint for you,
in black and white, and crimson, blue,
violet, yellow, purple, too,
and brighter shades of pale green dew.

II - Love

There's more to love than meets the eye
There's something far beneath the skin
It's buried and it cannot lie
but speaks at every coming in.

Careless is the man who weeps
at what he thinks he wants to keep
but must let go or else sink deep
love won't be chained and isn't cheap.

Beauty lies within a look,
in mind and thought and suffering,
in kith and kin, in blood and book,
in joy and love's heart's fluttering.

Eyes that gaze lone and transfixed
seem magnetised by what's confessed
and sense their way blind and possessed
to what they yearn to see and test.

So kiss the lips that still arrest,
are pressed soft by your soul undressed,
for in return, in tenderness,
you will be blessed.

....end...
Last edited by PaulW on Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:44 pm, edited 10 times in total.
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Re: Hymn to Love and Beauty

Postby Raphael » Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:15 pm

Keep going..it's good!
John....you did not live to see-
who we are because of what you left,
what it is we are in what we make of you.

Peter Sanson, 1995.
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Re: Hymn to Love and Beauty

Postby steffen » Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:52 pm

Hola PaulW:
I like very much the first section "On Love" (I think it's titlled) -the reference to "Tracey's unmade bed" and "thoughts that never rhyme" (awesome), and really everything about it, except for the mention of "Beauty" in the last line, but I can't say exactly why it rubs me wrong. I think it needs to be suggested rather than said outright. Keats did use that word, and very effectively of course, in his "On a Grecian Urn". But it's a big word and seems to be avoided in most poetry, although Gerard Manley Hopkins also comes to mind now. He used it in the title itself,"Pied Beauty" and later in that unforgettable last line, which leaves a mark, an accent of high beauty, worth and power: "He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: / Praise him."

My thoughts never rhyme either. Personally, I prefer playing tennis without a net.
Best wishes,
steffen
________________________________________________________________________________
I am the grass, I cover all. I am the grass, let me work. (Sandburg)
Last edited by steffen on Sat Feb 13, 2010 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hymn to Love and Beauty

Postby PaulW » Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:21 pm

Hmmmm.... 'Beauty', introductory verse. Perhaps it's too grand a gesture. otoh it's supposed to be :-). Or am i just borrowing from 200 years ago:-) ...or is it too throwaway. The use of it there is intended to be bold, barbed and thought provoking. I never gave the word 'beauty' a thought in the conventional or other sense until i read 'Keats', by Andrew Motion...then began to mull 'beauty' [in all its forms - landscape/scene, flower etc, human either direct or in the eye of the beholder ete etc] as an essential archetype. 'Beauty' meant a great deal to Keats and I can see how the broad concept of it could be like oxygen to humans; thereby it might be able, or be enabled, to have a role in modern poetry and/or modern thinking ... and be revitalised. I will give your comment thought. And thanks...tho I was being, or intending to be, both part modern and unashamedly Romantic in my use of it. Hmmmmm..... !
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Re: Hymn to Love and Nature [was Hymn to Love and Beauty]

Postby steffen » Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:43 am

PaulW: I have been thinking a lot about our posted conversation. Your changing "Beauty" to "Nature" in your title got me to thinking. ------- Keats trekked through the Lake District following Wordsworth´s example and admired the incredible views of the magnificent mountain scenery. But in a letter to a friend he confessed that for him the small details were what really captured his attention. For you these are the little details like: "Tracy's unmade bed"; "thoughts that never rhyme" ; " Love speaks . . . . . at every coming in." beautiful! they stick in my mind.----------- A sentence from one of Keats' letters that I can't get over: "If a sparrow walks before my window, I take part in its existence and pick among the gravel." WOW ! ---------- We can enjoy them only in translation, but these japanese 8th and 9th century A.D. shockingly beautiful one-sentence poems show how profound looking, pondering and contemplating the apparently insignificant experiences of our human lives can be transformed into deep mysteries:

"I can see the stones/On the bottom fluctuate/Through the clear water."

"A blind child/Guided by his mother/admires the cherry blossoms."

"Frozen in the ice/A maple leaf.

"I sit at home/In our room/By our bed/Gazing at your pillow."

"I have always known/That I would/Take this road/But I didn't know it would be today."
"Out in the marsh-reeds/A bird cries out in sorrow/ As though it had recalled/ Something better forgotten." Goodnight PaulW, and keep writing.---- steffen
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