Page 1 of 1

No title

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:47 am
by Brave Archer
When alone at night
In my chamber sleep,
Beauty creeps upon me
With promises of dreams sweet.

With thoughts of time spent,
Before close of night,
Help usher in thoughts that
Lead to unknown passions flight.

Between dreams of an
Angelic presence,
And early morning bliss
She ends my dream with a kiss.



Im not finish'd yet and I know its awful, but I post'd it anyway. I will post it when I finish.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 2:47 pm
by greymouse
I think it's nice Brave Archer! It is very gentle, and it really has a Blake feel to it. I'll be anxious to read the next installment.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:36 pm
by dks
Yes! I rather think that, too. It does have a Blake feel to it. I like it also, Brave Archer.

I simply love dream and kiss in the same line--they both roll off the tongue nicely...they're good coupled together both in meaning and etymologically. :wink:

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:34 pm
by Brave Archer
When alone at night
In my chamber sleep,
Beaty creeps upon me
With promises of dreams sweet.

Thoughts of our time spent
Ere the close of night,
Usher in thoughts that
Guide an unknown passions flight.

Between dreams of an
Angels presence and
Early morning bliss
She ends my dream with a kiss.

When alone at dawn
In my my chamber awake,
Beauty creeps upon me
Promising warmth at daybreak.

Smiles from her nights touch
Showing whats been miss'd;
Her touch at dawn being
Reality, my dreams kiss.


Here it is, the finish'd (for now anyway) product. Be gentle.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:49 pm
by dks
Nice, Brave Archer..very subtle and rich.

I love this:

Between dreams of an
Angels presence and
Early morning bliss
She ends my dream with a kiss.


I love the internal alliteration and the rhyme...lovely, light and delicious verse, BA.

Well done, there. :wink:

PostPosted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 6:14 pm
by AhDistinctly
I liked this, Brave Archer, especially:

Brave Archer wrote:Thoughts of our time spent
Ere the close of night,
Usher in thoughts that
Guide an unknown passions flight.


Dream control: what a grand way to describe that filmy time right before sleep!