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A non-meeting

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 11:13 pm
by Saturn
Okay apologies for another "cheerleader stood up at the prom" type poem.

Not a very good poem at all really, more of a story I think. One of those ones that spontaneously arrive and must be written.
Doesn't do justice to what I'm trying to say as usual.
___________

Trembling I wait here again:
The familiar fence. Fevered
With anticipation, expectation;
I sit and squirm like a fool.

Have I taken it for granted?
Become too used to this?
This closeness, a delusion
Last time we'll ever do this?

The fence irks with its damp,
Sponging my disappointment.
I shift places, now I'm standing,
An attitude of careless waiting
Isn't in my awkward repetoire.

The time passes and I know
That now you won't arrive:
No excuse, no apology
Just...silence...and hurt.

For a moment I don't care,
Acting bold, I soldier humour
To the front-line, to engage
The uprisen, rebellious heart;
Beat back tears, burn my eyes
Before I betray any small sign
Of the deadening inside me.

I should have known it.
I read it in your frown
The night before this.
Your silence then
Puzzled me. Bad news?
Problems at home?

Still, I wait, a glimpse at a time,
Fool myself constancy works,
Devotion a virtue, adoration
A worthy pastime for a man.

Chivalry is dead, damsels too.
Errant-knights have no place
In modernity's great scheme.

Only an idiot would believe
That paitence is a virtue.

:(

Re: A non-meeting

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:48 pm
by Brave Archer
Saturn wrote:Okay apologies for another "cheerleader stood up at the prom" type poem.

Not a very good poem at all really, more of a story I think. One of those ones that spontaneously arrive and must be written.
Doesn't do justice to what I'm trying to say as usual.
___________

Trembling I wait here again:
The familiar fence. Fevered
With anticipation, expectation;
I sit and squirm like a fool.

Have I taken it for granted?
Become too used to this?
This closeness, a delusion
Last time we'll ever do this?

The fence irks with its damp,
Sponging my disappointment.
I shift places, now I'm standing,
An attitude of careless waiting
Isn't in my awkward repetoire.

The time passes and I know
That now you won't arrive:
No excuse, no apology
Just...silence...and hurt.

For a moment I don't care,
Acting bold, I soldier humour
To the front-line, to engage
The uprisen, rebellious heart;
Beat back tears, burn my eyes
Before I betray any small sign
Of the deadening inside me.

I should have known it.
I read it in your frown
The night before this.
Your silence then
Puzzled me. Bad news?
Problems at home?

Still, I wait, a glimpse at a time,
Fool myself constancy works,
Devotion a virtue, adoration
A worthy pastime for a man.

Chivalry is dead, damsels too.
Errant-knights have no place
In modernity's great scheme.

Only an idiot would believe
That paitence is a virtue.

:(



I like it, mostly because it's a lot to relate to. And true, only an idiot would believe patience is a virture, but i'm still waiting.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:56 pm
by greymouse
A nice poem, Saturn! I like the image of the fence a whole lot because of its metaphorical value. I almost think you could do more with it, maybe even calling the poem, "The Fence." It's hard to know.

Chivalry is dead, damsels too.
Errant-knights have no place
In modernity's great scheme.


I dig this stanza! It really smacks you in the face with its harsh simplicity. Nice work.