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Manhattan Project

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:12 am
by Saturn
They knew not what they did
When they dragged forth
That beast from the shade.

The titans had slept sound
In their obscure plots,
Hurricanes and volcanoes
Couldn't rock their slumber.

But Mars would not let lie,
Would not rest secure
Until those ancient gods
Were let loose in havoc;
Until they rode the wings,
The black wings of war.

Out of the shadows,
A black dawn shines forth,
All is cast in darkness
Eyes towards the north.
Brighter than a thousand suns
The cloud piereced the sky
A hundred million tons
And countless thousands die.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:21 pm
by dks
Nice. I love the last stanza:

Out of the shadows,
A black dawn shines forth,
All is cast in darkness
Eyes towards the north.
Brighter than a thousand suns
The cloud piereced the sky
A hundred million tons
And countless thousands die.


I also love this:

But Mars would not let lie,
Would not rest secure
Until those ancient gods
Were let loose in havoc;
Until they rode the wings,
The black wings of war.


"Black wings of war." Intensely beautiful image...the poem is an extended metaphor, of course--it reminds me of 9/11-ish proportions...what was your inspiration? Is this a new one?

You're quite a talent, good man. :shock:

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:36 pm
by Saturn
Actually this was a bit of a Frankenstein piece.

The last stanza was originally two separate poems with a similar theme based on song titles.

The first three stanzas I added this morning in a flash of inspiration.

9/11, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam all figure in my mind.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:36 pm
by AhDistinctly
Saturn wrote:The last stanza was originally two separate poems with a similar theme based on song titles.

:D

PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:07 am
by Saturn
AhDistinctly wrote:
Saturn wrote:The last stanza was originally two separate poems with a similar theme based on song titles.

:D


Yes I thought you might have picked up on that :wink: :wink: :wink:

I wrote those before the album came out and I had heard the songs. They were my guesses at what the lyrics would be like.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:33 pm
by AhDistinctly
Saturn wrote:I wrote those before the album came out and I had heard the songs. They were my guesses at what the lyrics would be like.

Hmm. Now THAT would be an interesting exercise for this forum. Propose a title and see what everybody comes up with for a poem!

:idea:

PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 12:36 am
by Malia
AhDistinctly wrote:
Saturn wrote:I wrote those before the album came out and I had heard the songs. They were my guesses at what the lyrics would be like.

Hmm. Now THAT would be an interesting exercise for this forum. Propose a title and see what everybody comes up with for a poem!

:idea:



How about this title: "Agony of the Leaves"

I discovered that term in one of my books on tea--it describes the unfolding process that tea leaves go through when steeped in hot water. When I first saw that term, I thought "wow, now that would be a cool title for a novel--could work for a poem, too :) ;)

PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 12:43 am
by Saturn
This is a very good idea - off you go people...