Frontiersman

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

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Frontiersman

Postby Saturn » Sat Apr 14, 2007 11:01 am

Frontiersman

And so I've settled here,
Right at the very edge,
The barrier of experience.
Beyond the pale I scratch
And scuttle for a living,
Run-ragged with toils;
Determined to occupy
A plot in your wild heart.

I've built my fragile cabin,
My humble abode here:
A hovel to the mansion
I once dreamt of building
In the wide empty plains
That lie fallow in the once
So fertile and nurturing
Arable field of your soul.

How is it possible to sow
So many seeds and watch
Grief- stricken as they fail?
Is there such a wide gap
In my rude understanding?

What plague has laid low
My unborn crop of hope?
Have we not made good
This rich and tilled earth
With the seed of our fear?
Have we not ploughed hard
Together this barren furrow
And once reaped a rich hoard?
With my hand on the blade
Have I not now cut away all
Of your just doubt and fear?
_______
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
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Postby dks » Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:26 pm

Ok...*rubs her hands together briskly as if warming by a fire* let me get on in here and read these gems...I've been away--busy--I gotta catch up...

Firstly. Ok--I really like this:

I've built my fragile cabin,
My humble abode here:
A hovel to the mansion
I once dreamt of building
In the wide empty plains
That lie fallow in the once
So fertile and nurturing
Arable field of your soul.


It takes the metaphor nicely and expands it...I love the image of the hovel (shed) in stark comparison to the mansion...nice contrast--it reinforces the defeated tone...

And this is passionate in it's sincerity:

Determined to occupy
A plot in your wild heart.


Lastly, I really like how you ended this one interrogatively--it illustrates the speaker's loss of hope and further extends the metaphor of the frontiersman (great title, by the way)--fatigue, hopelessness, dependent on exterior elements to thrive, questioning his fate of future survival...

*Claps hands* Good. Very good...
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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dks
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Postby Saturn » Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:56 pm

Oh dear I thought personally most of this was awful :oops:

I had some good metaphors there but it's all very incoherent and messy.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Posts: 3940
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