The Shepherd

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

Moderators: Saturn, Malia

The Shepherd

Postby Megan » Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:34 pm

This is my second best poem. :oops: I tried to inhabit a man’s mind when writing it. Any comments as to how well I achieved this transgenderation would be welcome. Did Keats ever transgenderate?

Meg



The Shepherd

I look across the valley towards Pen Bryn Mawr
Over the rolling hillocks where the gorse is gloriously a-flower
The sun and wavering grass induces evening sleep
In me, my dog Fly and my flock of woolly sheep

The sun sets in the west over Llanyrhyl Hill
The wind has died down now and everything is still
My day’s work here is very nearly done
And soon I’ll go to the village and have some boozy fun

The shepherd deserves a drink or two
After a day of working so true
Then back to bed at an early hour
To rise at sunrise like a budding flower

The shepherd’s life is the one for me
I can’t imagine another so carefree
Honest sweat and calloused hands
The finest of men in these farming lands
Megan
 

Postby AsphodelElysium » Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:19 am

Meg,

First and foremost, welcome to the forum!

I always admire a poem that can pull off heroic couplets well and this does so. Its just so easy for them to become sing-song but your couplets are very strong. I particularly liked this one:

Honest sweat and calloused hands
The finest of men in these farming lands


I didn't really think of your narrator as being either male or female, it felt like it could be either one. Then again, I don't think of shepherding as a strictly male profession, so that may have something to do with it. In any case, you've written a good poem all the same.

Because I am of a feminist bent of mind (not feminazist) I am curious why you chose to write from a male perspective? Is there any particular reason or anything?

I'm not sure about Keats. I can find out for you, though.

Look forward to seeing more! :D
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Postby Saturn » Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:05 pm

AsphodelElysium wrote: Meg,

First and foremost, welcome to the forum!


This.

Meg your poem is great I can almost feel the wind and see the sun shining on the lonely shepherd.

I love hill poems. What is it about mountains and hills that make them so romantic and frightening and majestic all at once?

The romantics knew it, they were all hill walkers and mountain climbers and the greatest hill poems were written by the romantics no question.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Postby dks » Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:48 pm

Meg!

I love your embodiment of the wandering shepherd...it feels of an ancient Celtic countryside--your imagery is precise in its stark rendering of what the shepherd actually feels...I love these lines:

I look across the valley towards Pen Bryn Mawr
Over the rolling hillocks where the gorse is gloriously a-flower
The sun and wavering grass induces evening sleep
In me, my dog Fly and my flock of woolly sheep


fantastic alliteration and repetetive 's' sounds...it's lulling...

Bravo! And Welcome.
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
User avatar
dks
Dante
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2006 6:14 am
Location: Texas

Postby Megan » Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:49 pm

thank you all for your kind comments :D
its made me feel brave enough to post some more
Megan
 

Postby Saturn » Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:07 pm

Good for you.

No-one should be nervous or intimidated about posting their stuff.

We're all friends here no-ones going to bite your head off if you stick it above the parapet.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Postby Megan » Wed Jun 13, 2007 5:28 pm

Oohh I'm enjoying this! Thank you all for your welcomes. :oops:

One of the many fascinating things about hills is their size. They are not as big as mountains, mind, but still pretty big! I read somewhere how much hills weigh, but like so many other things, I have forgotten how much they (hills) weigh.

And yes, they can be scary too. Imagine one falling on your head!

Meg
Megan
 

Postby Malia » Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:19 pm

Yes, welcome, Meg! And please continue to post your poems :) I've always been intrigued by the male perspective in literature and I almost invariably choose to write from the male perspective when I compose stories and/or poems (if I choose to speak from a gendered perspective). I think it is because I already know what it's like to be a woman (not that all women have the same experience, by no means, but it is interesting to imaginatively explore a perspective that you cannot ever fully understand--such as the perspective of the opposite gender). What inspires you to write from the male perspective?
Stay Awake!
--Anthony deMello
User avatar
Malia
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 1606
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:55 am
Location: Washington State, USA

Postby Megan » Thu Jun 21, 2007 7:10 pm

Diolch

I suppose, like you, I am only too familiar with what it’s like to be a woman. It’s sort of somewhere between Helen Reddy:

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

and Peggy Lee:

I can wash out forty four pairs of socks and have 'em hangin out on the line
I can starch & iron two dozen shirts 'fore you can count from one to nine
I can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the dripping can
Throw it in the skillet, go out & do my shopping, be back before it melts in the pan
Cos I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

This was the first time I tried to get inside a man’s brain (is that an oxymoron?) :wink: :lol: I suppose I did it as a challenge and to see how it felt. I think I might do it again.
Megan
 

Postby Saturn » Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:14 pm

This was the first time I tried to get inside a man’s brain (is that an oxymoron?)


"Ouch baby! very ouch!!"
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Postby AsphodelElysium » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:11 pm

This was the first time I tried to get inside a man’s brain (is that an oxymoron?) ;)


:lol:
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Postby Saturn » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:18 pm

:(
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Postby AsphodelElysium » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:24 pm

Saturn wrote::(


Aww now, don't be sad. It was meant in good fun. :wink:
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Postby Saturn » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:32 pm

Some us do have brains that are not below the waist :wink:
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am

Postby AsphodelElysium » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:36 pm

Saturn wrote:Some us do have brains that are not below the waist :wink:


Then all of you are across the Atlantic for there are none in America. :D
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
User avatar
AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Next

Return to ‘Where’s the Poet? Show him! Show him!’

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests