Rehearsal

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Rehearsal

Postby Saturn » Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:50 pm

Rehearsal

Waiting in the wings,
Desperately cramming,
Trying hard to learn
An unwritten script;
The message remains
But the lines change
Every day, scenes
Are undivided still,
Only dialogue lives:
Extempore utterance
Is all that I know.

Has the language
Of love now become
So archaic as to be
Unintelligible today?
Are not the thoughts
The deeds, the actors
In this eternal drama
The same as of yore?

One day practising
Oratory: such speech-
Impressive, yet cold,
Another time verse
Blank and empty.
I cannot frame
In words so few
A play of so great
And weighty tone.
All my work undone
Is by a glimpse of
The leading lady.

I will not be left here
Conning in the dark,
An understudy, prop
To any other actor.
I will not share
This wide stage
With any but you.

I will not support,
Will not be handled
Like a bit-part extra
In your life's scene.

Give me the lead,
The romantic hero
And see me shine,
Leap from walls,
Swing chandeliers
And sweep you off
Into the distance.

Awake, I stare
At the curtain,
The dead-end,
The cut-off point.
It's much too thick.
Nothing I write
Will ever do,
Will ascend
Past the dusty
Hem of your
Affection.
________
Last edited by Saturn on Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby AsphodelElysium » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:43 am

I really like the middle part of this poem, where the speaker becomes more assertive. Starting here:

I will not be left here
Conning in the dark,
An understudy, prop
To any other actor.
I will not share
This wide stage
With any but you.

I will not support,
Will not be handled
Like a bit-part extra
In your life's scene.

Give me the lead,
The romantic hero
And see me shine,
Leap from walls,
Swing chandeliers
And sweep you off
Into the distance.


There is so much need and so much strength in those lines. The reader almost believes the narrator is to confront his actress.

I enjoy the musicality of the last stanza very much even though the narrator doesn't have the confrontation.

Awake, I stare
At the curtain,
The dead-end,
The cut-off point.
It's much too thick.
Nothing I write
Will ever do,
Will ascend
Past the dusty
Hem of your
Affection.


Love, love, love this: "Nothing I write/Will ever do,/Will ascend/Past the dusty/Hem of your/Affection." Another good one, Saturn. :D
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
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Postby Saturn » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:05 pm

Thank you AE :D


It's about waiting and choosing the moment, looking for the right time to say something you've been rehearsing in your head for years, but getting stage-fright every time :(
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby AsphodelElysium » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:50 am

Saturn wrote:Thank you AE :D


It's about waiting and choosing the moment, looking for the right time to say something you've been rehearsing in your head for years, but getting stage-fright every time :(


If you'll indulge me for a moment...but it reminds me a bit of when I went to tell my best friend, Brian, I was in love with him. There really wasn't a good moment because the consequences were going to be the same no matter what. As it was, I told him in the parking lot of a BP station and he informed me he already knew and had known. Its just one of those things, you know? In any case, I feel you, I know how it goes. :?
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
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AsphodelElysium
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Postby dks » Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:10 am

Stephen...Edward and I read this aloud...I have determined you have crafted what is to become instantaneously classic lines in contemporary poetry:


Give me the lead,
The romantic hero
And see me shine,
Leap from walls,
Swing chandeliers
And sweep you off
Into the distance.

Awake, I stare
At the curtain,
The dead-end,
The cut-off point.
It's much too thick.
Nothing I write
Will ever do,
Will ascend
Past the dusty
Hem of your
Affection.


Stunningly immediate and urgently yearning...love, love, love this. :!:
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby Saturn » Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:21 pm

:oops:

Thank you as ever Denise your opinion means a lot.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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