I ask you not

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

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I ask you not

Postby Saturn » Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:41 pm

I ask you not

I ask you not to forsake
That love you rightly owe
To your family, that babe
Newborn and full of joy,
And thy mother's breast.

All that I can ever ask
Is for you to share and
Give me a little of your
Care, a little little love
And I would be satisfied.

Is there no small portion,
No love left to spare
In that bounteous heart
For me and my life
The man who loves you?

Is your life now so full
That no desire lurks,
That no-one else could
Ever fill that large void
I know that you hide?

Have I ever been cruel,
Ever less than kind,
Ever disappointed you
Or told the slightest lie?
Am I the very last man

That could fill your heart?
Am I hideously deformed
Or so dull I can't change?
Have I not doted on thee
Even to my own destruction?

Do you fear I will hurt you
Or ever treat you less
Than you really deserve?
Am I so awkward and shy
That I make you ashamed?

I ask you not to forsake
That love you rightly owe
To your family, that babe
Newborn and full of joy,
And thy mother's breast.

All that I can ever ask
Is for you to share and
Give me a little of your
Care, a little little love
And I would be satisfied.
______________
Last edited by Saturn on Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby AsphodelElysium » Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:22 am

I love, love, love the refrain! :D Are you going to compose music for it?
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
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Postby Saturn » Fri Aug 24, 2007 9:41 am

I kind of thought of this as more of a song as I say but I'm not so hot on making music as playing others' music.

I'd love to record more but don't have the facilities to do so.

Plus I can't sing to save my life :oops:

If you want to hear a little recording AE this is a little guitar doodle I recorded the other day, it's the first thing I've recorded for ages - just a bit of jam really

http://rapidshare.com/files/50138130/Despondence.mp3
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby AsphodelElysium » Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:57 pm

Why don't you care for writing your own music? Your "doodle," as you called it, was very well done. I've never heard you sing, so I can't say whether you can or not. :wink: Though, my first impulse is to say you're being too modest.
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
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AsphodelElysium
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Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia

Postby Saturn » Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:25 pm

I'm not being modest believe me I sound like Nick Cave with a throat infection!!!! My voice is too harsh for singing, it cracks like a pubescent teenager :oops:

Trust me, listen to these attempts at "singing".

The first was just for a laugh with a friend in the full "Bleeding Gums Murphy-esque comic bluesman vocal :oops:

http://rapidshare.com/files/50013799/09 ... _Blues.mp3

The second is my dubious tribute to John Lennon recorded on the 25th anniversary of his death

http://rapidshare.com/files/52334241/Ba ... d_Yoko.mp3
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby AsphodelElysium » Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:11 pm

As I suspected, modesty. There isn't anything wrong with your singing voice, if anything, it is pleasantly, lightly, smoky. And it doesn't crack, despite your protests. You should write some music and record that song.
"Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But, when I am consumed in the fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire."
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AsphodelElysium
Calidore
 
Posts: 353
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:58 am
Location: Virginia


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