To C***** G***

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To C***** G***

Postby Saturn » Fri Jun 16, 2006 11:32 pm

Don't know if this is a poem, or a song - you decide.

Whatever it is, its from the heart and that's what matters to me really.

To C***** G***

You ask me why I can't
Look you in the face.
Why I must always
Turn my face in pain.

I cannot stand it,
I cannot resist.

I blame it on those eyes:
Bewitching blue eyes.

You should really know
Well enough by now
How inside I pine
To hold you close.

Unable to stand it
Unable to resist.


I blame it on those eyes:
Bewitching blue eyes.

Friendship is good,
Friendship is great
I would have it so
But can I dare hope?

I cannot stand it
I cannot resist.

I blame it on those eyes:
Bewitching blue eyes.

Those looks I see
The days we spend
How can you be
So kind but cruel?

How do I stand it?
Why can't I resist?


I blame it on those eyes:
Bewitching blue eyes.

Do you really expect
I can feel no more?
The things I said
Remain the truth.

I must suppress it
I must resist.

But those eyes those eyes:
Those bewitching blue eyes....

___________
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby dks » Sat Jun 17, 2006 12:38 am

:( :cry:

Beautiful, Saturn...she would be moved.
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby Saturn » Sat Jun 17, 2006 1:01 am

Thanks Denise - she's not really the kind of girl to read poems though.

She's a very down-to-earth no-nonsense kind of person.

Not at all a constantly daydreaming romantic like myself.

She's pragmatic and practical but also incredibly fun, with a wacky child-like humour, outrageously flirtatious and so beautiful it hurts to look at her :(

*Gushes :oops:*
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby dks » Sat Jun 17, 2006 11:09 pm

well...you won't know whether she'd be moved unless you show it to her...right?

I mean what the hell. What's the worst that could happen? If she says she doesn't feel the same way--then you're no worse off than you are now with the whole thing anyway.

Seize it. You live one time--and when you die, you can't take any of this with you.
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby Saturn » Mon Jun 19, 2006 11:10 pm

It's a looooong story but I've already asked her out and been rejected before - she gave me the whole 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' thing.

And then periodically I occassionally burst into an outburst of feelings and emotions and then we fight like cats and dogs and eventually we make up again - its an unhealthy and very difficult patttern but we're still friends after all that.

If I tell her my feelings one more time I know she won't forgive me and the friendship will be over and that I couldn't deal with.

Better to pine in Petrarchean fashion than to live without seeing her.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Credo Buffa » Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:06 am

Very nice poem, Saturn. I like the repetition of the two lines throughout and the slight variations.

And just to quickly get my two cents in about the "tell her" thing, all I can say is good for you for putting it out there, Saturn. I can say, as one who's been on the receiving end of the "friend wanting more than friendship" thing, that while it can definitely make things awkward and, as we all fear, risk the future of the friendship entirely, it's better to have it out there on the table. If you can get through that and still have your friendship, you know it's a good one (in my case, the friendship went into a slow decline and eventually collapsed entirely. . . and while I can't say I'm happy about it, I feel fortunate that he told me what he really felt, because it made me realize that our friendship wasn't entirely what I thought it was).

Just look at it this way: she knows how you feel about her, so it's up to her now. If she wants to stay friends, she'll do that. If she changes her mind, the ball is in her court.
"Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it!"
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Postby dks » Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:35 am

I like the way you put that, Credo. I agree wholeheartedly.

Stephen, you put it out there--and you are the passionate one for doing that. It's free of you in that regard at least.

Oh, how I know what you're going through...and I'm sorry. I keep thinking of Keats's "purple riot" to Fanny in the letters of 1820--he calls her his "delicious." Oh...it hurts.

:( :(

:cry:
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Postby Saturn » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:51 pm

Thanks for the replies - me droning on again I'm afraid - I really have to stop doing this on this site - I embarass myself sometimes.

All I can seriously hope is that we remain friends - it is hard having all these feelings and knowing, and being afraid of them spilling out at any moment, having to constantly walk on egg-shells.

I suppose because I have had so little [i.e. virtually zero] experience of real relationships it makes it all the harder for me to deal with.

I'm having to deal with things most people learned while teenagers in my late 20s - all that teenage dating scene was denied to me so I am totally without a clue in these matters.

I'm extremely naive and immature, I know that and I think people can sense that - I juts come on too strong and too intensely romantic that it suffocates people.

I want everything that I missed out on and I want it yesterday.

Sorry again, I'm feeling very lonely and sad tonight so I'm thinking 'out loud' so to speak...

Don't mind me.

:(
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Saturn » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:53 pm

No matter how many times I write or look for the word naive I can never remember how to spell it :lol:
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Malia » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:56 pm

Saturn wrote:No matter how many times I write or look for the word naive I can never remember how to spell it :lol:


I feel your pain. But in my case, I have trouble spelling easy words like "restaurant" and "assessment". Still can't spell Couer d'Alene without difficulty--basically, I'm hopeless with anything remotely connected to the French language :lol:
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Postby dks » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:37 am

:(

Saturn, vent all you like. That's what we're here for sometimes, ya know? :wink:
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Postby Credo Buffa » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:38 am

Saturn wrote:I'm having to deal with things most people learned while teenagers in my late 20s - all that teenage dating scene was denied to me so I am totally without a clue in these matters.

Meh, teenage dating is overrated anyway. I think too many kids date because they feel like they have to to fit into social "norms" or whatever you want to call it, but don't really know enough about themselves--let alone the people they're dating--to know how to make it worth their while.

After reading thousands of essays from 16-year-olds about the qualities that comprise adulthood, I've learned that a lot of teenagers really don't grasp that an adult relationship really is. It's like a game to them (though I guess we can safely say that it's unfortunately a game to too many adults as well :roll: ). So maybe it's not such a bad thing that you're getting into it a bit later, Saturn. You can be a mature date and not the kind that's just out for cheap thrills or to fit a mold. In other words, you don't have to worry so much about wasting your time. :wink:
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Postby dks » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:41 am

Here, here, Credo.

Man, when I taught high school freshman, juniors and seniors--I was astounded at the level of immaturity...and the lack of interest in Shakespeare, quite frankly.

Saturn--you are a very mature, intelligent, well read, poetic, romantic Irishman--the girl with "bewitching blue eyes" would be lucky to call you her own. :wink:
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Postby Credo Buffa » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:50 am

dks wrote:Man, when I taught high school freshman, juniors and seniors--I was astounded at the level of immaturity...and the lack of interest in Shakespeare, quite frankly.

What's up with teenagers these days? Can't have a mature relationship, can't be bothered to read Shakespeare. . . :roll:

:P

In all honesty, though (and I realize this is getting WAY off topic, but I feel it's a point that ought to be made), I remember pretty well what I was like when I was in high school, and I even had the presence of mind by the age of 16 to realize that a lot of my peers (particularly the "popular" ones) were just complete boneheads. . . But I feel like the general level of maturity of the teenage population has gone down significantly since my time (and this wasn't that long ago, mind you; I graduated in '01). I think it has something to do with the mobile phones and Jessica Simpson. . . :P
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Postby dks » Thu Jun 22, 2006 5:49 am

2001??

Oh, boy. Imagine graduating in 1989!!!

Uh, yeah. That would be me. :shock:
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