Magma-chamber

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

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Magma-chamber

Postby Saturn » Mon Jul 17, 2006 12:10 am

This one was written on the spur tonight.

Be patient.
The floodgates have opened and quality control has neglected it's duty.

_________

You judge me so harshly
But not all the other men,
You let them kiss you,
But you shyed from me.

You said it wasn't love;
That you did what you
Thought was expected.
Playing along with them?
How could you bear it then,
Their closeness, their heat
When now you wouldn't
Even dare to hold my hand.

I couldn't stand to watch it,
You throwing it all away,
Spreading affection so thin
Like the roots of a sapling
Which become unweildy
After only one winter's growth.

It was torturous, unbearable
To see them paddle your palm,
To kiss that oh so soft cheek
That I so longed to touch.

They cared but little for you,
To them it was but a sport,
Another notch on the post
For them to now brag of.

How could they know or care
The love I felt then, the love
That fills me now...for you.
Something alien to them.

Not that they were rough,
Unmannered, or even cruel,
Just that I felt them unworthy
To dare to take your hand
And too close to crush my
Too clear hopes and desires.

Do you look at me and see
All that you saw in them?
Know you not how my soul
Burns with a love so fierce,
Yet so quiet it only peeps
When a fissure awakes
The magma-chamber
Of my quaking heart.

So I lie to you, quietly,
Dormant in my passion.
Boiling underneath
The usual pleasantries.

You say you want no love
That life's enough now.
I wish I could feel the same

For your sake,
And for mine.
_________


I'm such a cliche :roll:
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Re: Magma-chamber

Postby Credo Buffa » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:43 am

Saturn wrote:You judge me so harshly
But not all the other men,
You let them kiss you,
But you shyed from me.

. . . . .

I'm such a cliche :roll:

Well, at the risk of sounding equally cliche, I'll just point out that if someone treats you differently than he/she does everyone else, it probably means that he/she does see you as different. . . and not usually in a bad way. :wink:
"Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it!"
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Postby dks » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:13 am

I love this:

It was torturous, unbearable
To see them paddle your palm,
To kiss that oh so soft cheek
That I so longed to touch.

Nice. Tactile--touchingly beautiful, actually, Saturn.

This one, too:

Not that they were rough,
Unmannered, or even cruel,
Just that I felt them unworthy
To dare to take your hand
And too close to crush my
Too clear hopes and desires.

I love the complex sentence at the end making up the last two lines...it adds to the fragility of its theme. Quite good... :shock:
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby greymouse » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:46 pm

Nice poem; it made me sad, Saturn. :( The author is mired in the "just friends" mode. :x I know you didn't ask, but I'd like to offer advice, take it or leave it. Here's the greymouse solution, it works every time it's tried:

1. Say something mean to her (not about her looks)
2. Ignore her a lot
3. Give her smirky looks
4. Repeat the above until you're sure she's angry or confused - don't apologize, and let her stay angry for at least 24 hours
5. Compliment her (not about her looks)

Note: She may know you're playing mindgames, but that's all the better.

Repeat cycle a few times if necessary (it usually isn't), and the whole situation will be fixed (it may take anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks). Then go back to being nice. :twisted:
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Postby dks » Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:02 pm

Greymouse! Are you sure this works? :lol:
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby greymouse » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:53 pm

Greymouse! Are you sure this works?


Yeah, the key is No. 1 and somewhat No. 2, the rest can be varied to taste. It always works (just gave the advice again a couple weeks ago, and it worked)! However, I've witnessed women being the ones who boil and churn in the magma-chamber of the "just friends" relationship, and I have no idea what they're supposed to do. My guess is the solution is to not listen to men, and to rather listen to and emulate women who have the relationship you desire. Men will only tell you what they think they want, rather than what they really go for. :?
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Postby Saturn » Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:05 am

greymouse I thought about your advice.


1. I would never say anything mean to her.

2. If I ignore her, she ignores me. She's angry at me, I'm angry at her so that's a no win solutiuon. :roll:

3. I am the king of smirky looks - not sure what you mean by smirky but I am good at making faces :lol:

4. We've had way too many arguments in the past and each time it gets harder for her to trust me again so I'd rather not get into any fights.

5. I continually compliment her all the time [avoiding looks because she gets angry at me and embarassed easily by that].

Repeat cycle a few times if necessary (it usually isn't), and the whole situation will be fixed (it may take anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks). Then go back to being nice.


I'm not sure what that is supposed to acheive...
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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