The embrace

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The embrace

Postby Saturn » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:06 pm

I can't sleep tonight so I'm writing this instead in a semi-slumberous state so forgive it's extreme sloppiness [and this lines sibilance by the way].

As usual this "poem" [if such a paltry thing can be called such] does not do the slightest bit of justice to the feelings behind its conception.

The embrace

You came up to me
With your greetings
And your apologies.
I didn't want them,
Only wanted you;
To see, to hear you
On my special day.

The door opened;
And poured you
Into my embrace
Like golden sand;
Settling slow
On the sea's
Darkened floor.

It wasn't forced
Wasn't awkward
Like times before.
It happend fast,
Too quick by far.

It was warmth,
It was affection
It was tender
[At least for me].

Yes I held you.
For five seconds?
Maybe even more?
I didn't plan it,
Didn't expect it.

Twenty-seven...

Never been kissed.

I wanted you then
More than ever
But still I held off.

How does it feel
For lips to touch,
For breath to mix?

I'll never know,
Never.

In my aching heart
Endlessly I replay
Those moments.

I did right, I did.
I could not risk
Losing your trust.

That trust I know
How dear it costs.
How many times
Have we fought?

How many times
Have I wronged
The sacred name
Of friendship?

If not in deed
Then in thought
I've lied to you.

The guilt, the love
That fills me now
I cannot mend.

Ever will I love,
In despair,
In hope,
In absence,
In fear,
In doubt.

I'm lost
In you,
Loving
Fearing,
Hoping,
Crying.

You came up to me
With your greetings
And your apologies.
I didn't want them,
Only wanted you;
To see, to hear you
On my special day.
__________
Last edited by Saturn on Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Saturn » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:09 pm

Oh dear this is terrible :oops:

Can even one line redeem this soppy nonsense?
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby Falina » Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:16 pm

Saturn wrote:Oh dear this is terrible :oops:


Oh no, it isn't - by contrast! I think it's very beautiful... sad and melancholy, truly moving, touching, full of hopes and fears and despair and... well, just full of true beauty :) . It was one of the first things I read this morning, and it's been on my mind the whole day...
We are like frost flowers, we blossom at night...
We are like frost flowers, too beautiful for the day...
(Subway to Sally)
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Saturns poem The embrace

Postby edwardkeenaghan » Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:38 pm

Yes saturn i like it very much too
Firstly i like the name because it captures your words in what you are saying

The door opened;
And poured you
Into my embrace
Like golden sand;
Settling slow
On the sea's
Darkened floor.

I love that verse,you give a brillant image after something opened,something poured in ,which formed the embrace.

Yes I held you.
For five seconds?

Again the embrace feeling,of holding

How does it feel
For lips to touch,
For breath to mix?

Again saturn,it forms a embrace a mixture this time with lips and breath.

Its very sad yet throughout i felt the connection ,it starts as a warm embrace tight and very close,then it moves into a sad embrace more emotionaly tied this time,i really like it :D
edwardkeenaghan
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Poem

Postby edwardkeenaghan » Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:49 pm

Love-In-A-Mist by Edward Keenaghan

She smelled of Rosemary
The scent of Loves ghost,
Her back arched ,her beautiful hair
Caught the spring sunlight in coincidence I toast.

Resembled the Art of shadow,
Behind her at Aphelion I sat
In Fear requiem;
I was halcyon opium
Because I was afraid to swing the bat.

Would I be Tempting my fate if we spoke?
Or was it the shyness that took
The Gasp of air I gathered
In my voice matters
But nothing came through,
I fell back to my senses like an Unwanted shrew.

Eloquently embalmed
I climbed back in my hole ,Still admiring her beauty,
And knowing that I would always be stuck
In Gazers duty;

Thus thespian a theatrical expire,
As the bell rang out,
Climbed out momentarily to a zephyr
And let this emotion dwindle in drought.

Her Curvy figure hugged her like a blanket
Those August eyes and unveiling smile
Illuminated the ebony Fascinated even me,
I wondered was I only
A branch on Elysium Oak tree.
edwardkeenaghan
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Postby dks » Sun Oct 15, 2006 7:44 am

Saturn wrote:Oh dear this is terrible :oops:

Can even one line redeem this soppy nonsense?



Rubbish, like I find myself telling you often, good man. :?

This is pure, aching sadness...and poetry. It's breathless and superb in it's finely tuned longing You are a master at promptly capturing that feeling, Stephen--not easy to do... :shock: :(

I'm lost
In you,
Loving
Fearing,
Hoping,
Crying.
Last edited by dks on Sun Oct 15, 2006 7:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby dks » Sun Oct 15, 2006 7:47 am

Ah, Edward.

Gorgeous--simply gorgeous...I love, in particular, these lines:

She smelled of Rosemary
The scent of Loves ghost,
Her back arched ,her beautiful hair
Caught the spring sunlight in coincidence I toast...

Eloquently embalmed
I climbed back in my hole ,Still admiring her beauty,
And knowing that I would always be stuck
In Gazers duty;


Your word choices are like some exhilirating new taste in the mouth...a bit sensuous, but paradoxical--loves ghost and eloquently embalmed... :shock:
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Postby Richard » Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:32 pm

You've got a rich seam to mine, look in every extreme.
Just what is the catalyst for a prolific patch?
I often ask myself is this mania or muse.
I'm not saying anymore about it, until you trash that thing I wrote about about overspilling coffins

So there........................... :wink:

Richard
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Postby Saturn » Tue Oct 17, 2006 11:49 pm

dks wrote:
Saturn wrote:Oh dear this is terrible :oops:

Can even one line redeem this soppy nonsense?



Rubbish, like I find myself telling you often, good man. :?

This is pure, aching sadness...and poetry. It's breathless and superb in it's finely tuned longing You are a master at promptly capturing that feeling, Stephen--not easy to do... :shock: :(

I'm lost
In you,
Loving
Fearing,
Hoping,
Crying.


It's not poetry , just the harsh, brutal truth.

I write what I feel, nothing else.

I posted some of these poems on anpther board and the response I got was to grow up and not so miserable and childish.

Maybe they are right. I realise my writing is very "school-girl misses the prom-esque" but that's my experience.

There are many things in life that most people my age take for granted that I have never experienced :cry:
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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Postby dks » Wed Oct 18, 2006 3:21 am

Saturn wrote:It's not poetry , just the harsh, brutal truth.

I write what I feel, nothing else.

I posted some of these poems on anpther board and the response I got was to grow up and not so miserable and childish.

Maybe they are right. I realise my writing is very "school-girl misses the prom-esque" but that's my experience.

There are many things in life that most people my age take for granted that I have never experienced :cry:


Ok, Stephen. Well, tell the folks on that other board that we here on this one said to go suck big donkey schlongers. We used to say that in high school, too. :lol:

I daresay Keats would've loved to impart that very sentiment to Blackwoods. :wink:
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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