Ode to a Nighttime Breeze

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Ode to a Nighttime Breeze

Postby acrosstheuniverse64 » Tue Oct 31, 2006 1:01 am

I hear her come on angels’ wings,
A chariot of brush and leaves.
I love the moonlit song she sings
Across the weathered eaves.
As soft as cotton, smooth as breath
She sweeps over the earth and sea.
Each being stops to listen to
Her tales of love, and life and death,
Absorbing sheer serenity
Beneath a moon of blue.

Under the twinkling stars I lay,
While for your sound, my ears do strain.
Please, with me will you come and stay
And whisper at my window pane?
Hush now, she comes! I mustn’t tarry.
My heart is bursting at the seams,
To her, are all my thoughts unfurled.
Inside her swirling robes, she’ll carry
My whispered words of hopes and dreams,
And those of all the world.


Oh dear this was a really cool poem at the time I wrote it because I was actually sitting on my roof at night writing it, but how cheesy in retrospect! Ah, well...

And I was just wondering- does an ode always have to follow the ABABCDECDE rhyme scheme? Because I had wanted to write so much more but could not seem to ever be able to get anything to fit the CDECDE part.
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Postby Saturn » Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:37 am

That is wonderful I love it - a good old traditional bit of poetry.

Very reminiscent of Shelley I think.

:D
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Postby dks » Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:08 pm

Yes...I love your rich, dark night images...

I hear her come on angels’ wings,
A chariot of brush and leaves.
I love the moonlit song she sings
Across the weathered eaves.
As soft as cotton, smooth as breath
She sweeps over the earth and sea.
Each being stops to listen to
Her tales of love, and life and death,
Absorbing sheer serenity
Beneath a moon of blue.


...very nice, indeed...
"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of Imagination."
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Re: Ode to a Nighttime Breeze

Postby Kaki » Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:49 pm

acrosstheuniverse64 wrote:And I was just wondering- does an ode always have to follow the ABABCDECDE rhyme scheme? Because I had wanted to write so much more but could not seem to ever be able to get anything to fit the CDECDE part.


No you can mix the bottom up some if you'd like for example Keats often wrote pindaric odes generally with a strophe (introduction), an antistrophe (the meat of the ode), and an epode (obviously the end). For example the rhyme scheme for "Ode to a Grechian Urn" is ababcdedce, ababcdeced already in the first two stanzas the last bit changes, this change is usually used for the transition between the three parts of the ode (strophe, antistrophe and the epode), but honestly you can use it for emphasis or just to change it up a bit to make something more intresting, or whatever.

oh the whole rhyme scheme for "Ode to a Grecian Urn" (so you don't have to look it up) is:
ababcdedce, ababcdeced, ababcdecde, ababcdecde, ababcdedce
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Postby Saturn » Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:53 pm

:shock:

I'm glad someone knows what they're talking about here - I'm shamefully defeated by the mechanics of poetry and wholly ignorant of rhyme schemes etc. :oops:
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Postby Kaki » Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:12 am

Don't be I just learned about this a few weeks ago. If anything I'm just glad I listen in English class so that I can share with everyone. Besides you were the one who answered my question about the use of roman gods over greek gods in "To Homer". I still feel rather dumb to have not thought about education at the time.
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Postby Richard » Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:41 am

Yes
I think Keats developed from naff rhyming couplets to the most beautifully subtle tunes ever written. In no time, just in front of your eye's.
And then it was sealed in amber.
Perfect. 8)
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Postby Kaki » Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:05 am

I'd say he had an addiction to form, I mean he didn't seem to loosen up much did he?
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Postby Richard » Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:33 am

Yes. Addiction to form, I should hope so too.
He invents impossibly complex looms, in which he weaves effortlessly, he embroiders with seeming spontaneous beauty. Its not the counting of syllables or rhyme patterns, its the music they make, its perfected craft by an artistic genius. It is the pinnacle of mans achievement, and yet its just breath. 8)
Oh hi Kaki, I'm richard and I've got a heavy Keats habit :D
Anyone can write free verse, and thats great
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Postby Kaki » Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:05 am

I can tell. Very poetic. Free verse is wonderful. Personaly, I have quite a problem continuing a rhyme even if I can change the order. I apreciate the work others put into such detail, but I don't like the restrictions.
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personal imagery

Postby Scrib » Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:44 am

beautiful poem...makes me think of someone sitting on a rooftop pondering life...and they feel a breeze, showing the soft power of nature...
~Scrib
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Postby dks » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:05 am

Richard wrote: It is the pinnacle of mans achievement, and yet its just breath. 8) I'm richard and I've got a heavy Keats habit :D


You're a smart man...I've got a heavy Keats habit...yes! I love that...
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Postby Saturn » Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:45 am

How much does this habit cost you? :wink:
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Postby Richard » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:03 am

Fortunately I'm off Endymion entirely now, just a couple of small sonnets a day, I mean whats the harm in that? :wink:

Kaki, its because we don't like restrictions that he uses them. like bars around a songbirds cage, If Keats didn't have that discipline he would have just flown away.
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Last edited by Richard on Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Saturn » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:04 am

:lol:

You have a wonderful way of putting things.

That's such a great image 'a heavy Keats habit' :lol:
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