More from Most Bizarrre Novel Ever Written

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More from Most Bizarrre Novel Ever Written

Postby WolfLarsen » Mon Nov 27, 2006 12:03 am

Another excerpt from the novel
TEN THOUSAND PENISES IN YOUR EAR
By Wolf Larsen

WARNING: THIS MAY BE THE MOST BIZARRE NOVEL EVER WRITTEN!


The plot jumps a train going to Chengdu China or to Thessaloniki Greece or maybe to Vera Cruz Mexico but the train decides to become a cliff in Valparaiso Chile. Meanwhile the plot has been left in either Hong Kong or Athens or maybe Mexico City. So the reader and the writer fly together to Hong Kong Athens and Mexico City. We land in all three places together at the same time.

We walk through all the sUrgiNg and rElenTleSs and sOaRing of hoNg kOng and all the fiRe and crOwdS of aThenS and all the sEethiNg and viOlEncE and vAStneSs of meXicO ciTY. We hear a rumor that the plot might be in Istanbul. So we fly into all the jUmBled and enTanGlEd and diZzY of iStaNbuL but the plot has flown to America. We start SCREAMING at the plot as the plot sits happily in the sun on a beach somewhere. The plot eventually feels guilty and flys back to Istanbul to meet us but we’ve already left. The reader and the writer are on a plane to Calcutta or maybe New York or perhaps to Lima Peru. You ask me –

“So there were thousands of lunatics in bed with you?”

I said: “What did I say? What is a word? perhapS her vagiNa is croWded with citiEs and bUs terminAls and thOusands of cemetaRies. Thousands and then hundreds of thousands of little men swimming up your vagina just as fast as they can? What if alL the CattLe in noRth ameriCa were growiNg in yOur wifE’s wOmb?”

you said: “i’m inSide thOusands of a doG’s bRains at the moMent - Wolf, couLd I pleasE leT yoU coNsider tHe graY sideWaLk sir.”
I said: “I like dancing with all the atoms circling and circling inside your brain.”

you said: “we are circling and circling around each other’s brain cells buT wE’re iMpregNated bY a sEntence oN the pAge.”
I said: “pLeAsE rEaDeR hElp mE tO diG tHe gRaVeS oF tHe hUmAn rAcE? ”

a sunken ship said: “do we take pills to gravity and the skies now?”
and I SCREAMED “why is each person so much like millions and millions of words running away from each other?”

- so your wife’s ovaries were slithering down the walls of the plane. Genghis Kahn began walking back and forth on the plane’s wing as the plane flies through the air. Genghis Kahn doesn’t fall through the air because he didn’t understand airplanes.

Meanwhile, the plot had turned itself into the rug in your living room. However, you realize you don’t know where you’re going. The plane is headed either to Belfast or Montreal or Lagos - you don’t know where the plane is headed to! you start SCREAMING dysentery at me but I pull out a knife. Suddenly, you’ve forgotten where you live. YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE - you don’t remember what city you live in - you can’t remember what country you’re from either! Now you’re starting to forget the only language you know how to speak! You start YELLING at me but I can’t understand because you’re speaking in extinct languages.

Copyright 2004 by Wolf Larsen. All Rights Reserved.

If you would like to read more you may click on:
Gothic Literature
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Postby woolf_fire37 » Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:14 am

Bizarre doesn't even begin to cover the absolute insanity that is this novel. It's completely illogical, a bit hard to follow, and absolutely irresistible. I found myself actually wanting to know, what is going to happen next?

I felt like asking my dad to read this just to see what his reaction would be, as he is an editor. But I decided not to put him through that torture. :) Besides, I already know what would happen. He would walk up to the computer, read a few sentences, furrow his brow, give off a quick "huh", and walk away, never to speak of it again. My parents aren't big into modernism. :P
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Hello!

Postby WolfLarsen » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:00 am

Thank you Mr. Fire! I like your insight.

Cheers!

Wolf Larsen
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Postby Kaki » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:56 pm

That's Miss Fire...

Love your work though, esp. the seemingly random capital letters. And the ending is rather all up in your face. It's fun and addictive! :D
I repair dictionaries with duct tape.
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Postby Richard » Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:18 pm

It doesn't seem that bizzare, it reminds me of one of first trips I had when I was a mere pubescent.
Richard
 

Postby Saturn » Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:30 am

Richard wrote:It doesn't seem that bizzare, it reminds me of one of first trips I had when I was a mere pubescent.


Trips? :wink:
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
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