A brief exercise in romantic free verse

Here you can post YOUR OWN poems, prose, music, or art inspired by the 'Muses nine'.

Moderators: Saturn, Malia

A brief exercise in romantic free verse

Postby loverofwisdom » Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:10 pm

Wonders of the Night (Particularly need help on title)

To have held your warm body once
In my arms--that throbing temple
Speaking to me in muted tones
Of ancestral tales of passion and of virtue,
vice, exultation, liberation--
To have held you once has--
Inspired, mystified, fortified, and nullified
The ceaseless calculations and gyrations
Of a heart ran cold from solitude
And like a hearth died from scarcity of fuel
Needed only a new object--a new source of ignition--
To be rekindled--To be revived
And Upon my revival--Upon my burst into this brave new world--
World of emotion and fancy unleash'd,
Unadorned of the silly artifice of our phillistines--
I say to you--
"Let not me sleep, nor rest,
But love and in loving,
wrench my heart from its breast."
"Not for pleasure, nor for pain is our destined end or way, but to live that each tomorrow find us farther than today."
Longfellow
loverofwisdom
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:53 pm

Postby Kaki » Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:33 pm

Brave new world...

Hmmm, a quote from the Tempest and the title of a book... Oh, my IOC is getting to me :cry: I don't want to read the Tempest again!!!

IB finished...

Back on topic:
It is interesting how there is no rhyme until "last three lines". Is there any reason you wrote most of the poem in prose? It has a very interesting effect, and finishes the poem well.
As for the title how about Wonderous Night? Or something like that...

Hey, Saturn try a rhyme for the end of a poem and see if it helps ease your troubles with the endings :wink: Tis worth a shot, no?
I repair dictionaries with duct tape.
Kaki
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 11:40 pm
Location: Iberia

Re: A brief exercise in romantic free verse

Postby Saturn » Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:52 am

loverofwisdom wrote:Wonders of the Night (Particularly need help on title)

To have held your warm body once
In my arms--that throbing temple
Speaking to me in muted tones
Of ancestral tales of passion and of virtue,
vice, exultation, liberation--
To have held you once has--
Inspired, mystified, fortified, and nullified
The ceaseless calculations and gyrations
Of a heart ran cold from solitude
And like a hearth died from scarcity of fuel
Needed only a new object--a new source of ignition--
To be rekindled--To be revived
And Upon my revival--Upon my burst into this brave new world--
World of emotion and fancy unleash'd,
Unadorned of the silly artifice of our phillistines--
I say to you--
"Let not me sleep, nor rest,
But love and in loving,
wrench my heart from its breast."


Welcome loverofwisdom - great first post!!!! :D

The only criticism is that some of the lines are too long. Try and keep the lines with the same number of syllables if you are writing verse.
"Oh what a misery it is to have an intellect in splints".
Saturn
Forum Administrator
 
Posts: 3939
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 10:16 am


Return to ‘Where’s the Poet? Show him! Show him!’

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron